Momference: A Meeting of the Moms

What to do When Rage Takes Over Your Parenting

When rage takes over your parenting there are two questions you need to ask before you read any further. 

• The first is:  Does my rage physically harm anyone?  If you answer yes to this, then you need to see a local professional on rage management.  If you answer no to the first question then you can go on. 
• The second question you need to ask yourself is:  Do I really want to change?  If you answer yes then read on.

With rage you need to look at your past for just a moment.  Take a moment to decide if your rage is because your parents used rage to keep control of things as you grew up.  If this is the case then have a mourning service for this way of life.

If rage has been a part of your past or not, the main reason for rage is when you feel you are losing control.  But in reality the loss is not actually control; it is loss of respect.  To regain respect you need to have respect for yourself and for your family.

There are three excellent ways to reduce rage and regain respect.  Use a Change behavior Chart, do something that stops the rage, and use the rewind button.

A Change Behavior Chart is easy to set up.

• Stage one: The chart has two columns. On the left is the behavior she did. On the right is the new behavior to replace it. When she has written this down then she does it.
• Stage two: After a while she will actually stop the unacceptable behavior and be able to do a new behavior. She still writes down the unacceptable behavior, but now she gets to cross it out because she did not do it.
• Third stage: She is not tempted to do an unacceptable behavior. She just writes down the new behaviors. This is a six to eight week process. It will not happen overnight.

To stop the rage try drinking water every time you feel the rage coming.  This will have two effects.  First you will not be able to yell and scream.  Second drinking water has a calming effect.

The rewind button is simple.  Whenever you can redo any action then tell everyone you are hitting the rewind button and redo what ever you don’t like you did.  With these you have the opportunity to rethink, stop, and redo our rages.

With these changes of behavior you will gain respect for your self and from your kids.  With respect will come an amazing sense of high self-esteem.

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Grace E. Mauzy, MA works with overwhelmed, stressed parents having difficulty comfortably coping with divorce. Parents learn positive intervention utilizing strategies and tactics to develop strength and harmony during the divorce process. Grace is the founder of GEM Parenting – an online community dedicated to parenting with passion, purpose, and integrity. (GEMParenting.com) Through Grace’s professional and personal life experiences, she has a unique ability to understand and empower parents to implement powerful yet peaceful life styles, allowing them to challenge themselves to break free of their destructive behaviors and attitudes.  And live their lives with confidence, peace, and harmony.  To learn more about GEM Parenting visit http://www.GEMParenting.com.