Comments on: When Divorce is the Answer! http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/ A Meeting of the Moms Sun, 18 May 2008 04:58:27 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Laura Campbell http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-18 Laura Campbell Fri, 18 Jan 2008 19:47:24 +0000 http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-18 You are absolutely right! It is difficult and uncomfortable and one of the most significant transitions anyone will ever go through. On the other side, it is a journey of possibility and opportunity for self-discovery and creating a life of abundance, joy and contentment. It does require work and we are here to provide the support, resources and tools for this journey. Please let us know if there is any way that we can support you through it. Thank you for taking the time to comment! Laura Campbell Divorce Team Leader for Momference Founder, The D Spot and Life Transition Coach You are absolutely right! It is difficult and uncomfortable and one of the most significant transitions anyone will ever go through.

On the other side, it is a journey of possibility and opportunity for self-discovery and creating a life of abundance, joy and contentment.

It does require work and we are here to provide the support, resources and tools for this journey. Please let us know if there is any way that we can support you through it.

Thank you for taking the time to comment!

Laura Campbell
Divorce Team Leader for Momference
Founder, The D Spot and Life Transition Coach

]]> By: tmulcahy http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-17 tmulcahy Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:48:25 +0000 http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-17 Divorce sucks. Divorce sucks.

]]> By: momference http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-15 momference Fri, 18 Jan 2008 06:04:49 +0000 http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-15 Lynn--You are so right. When abuse is involved in a divorce situation, women must take extra steps to protect themselves and their children from further violence. And, thank you for the links to the studies and the major help lines available. We will make a category to address hotlines that supply help to women in crisis. Thank you so much.~~Your Momference Team Lynn–You are so right. When abuse is involved in a divorce situation, women must take extra steps to protect themselves and their children from further violence. And, thank you for the links to the studies and the major help lines available. We will make a category to address hotlines that supply help to women in crisis. Thank you so much.~~Your Momference Team

]]> By: graceofwynn http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-14 graceofwynn Fri, 18 Jan 2008 05:48:21 +0000 http://momference.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/when-divorce-is-the-answer/#comment-14 I agree with your post and want to add that divorce does have a different context when dealing with abuse and/or domestic violence. In a domestic violence situation, often the abuse will escalate when the victim tries to leave OR the abuser will retaliate, or seek leverage against the victim in some way. SAFETY is a number one priority, especially when children are involved. My advise in fleeing domestic violence is to get help from a shelter or domestic abuse agency ASAP. They will help make a safety plan, and find resources including emergency shelter and legal assistance. Cut off all contact with the abuser--don't try to negotiate on your own. You may also have to avoid friends or family members that the abuser has access to, as they may become targets or be manipulated into assisting the abuser. Don't worry about what you lost or what you left behind--just be safe! God Bless- Lynn (shadowwings.wordpress.com) National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://www.ndvh.org/ Abuse is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. Battering is a behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a partner from doing what they wish or forces them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) "Studies show that nearly 70 percent of women on welfare are victims of domestic violence. It is estimated that over 50 percent of women and children who become homeless are victims of domestic violence." -- Help USA (New York). http://www.helpusa.org/site/PageServer?pagename=HELP_ProgServ_DomesticViolence Fathers who batter mothers are two times as likely to seek sole custody of their children. 40 to 60 percent of men who abuse women also abuse children. Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence in the Family (Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women): http://www.mcbw.org/dvfacts.htm "Approximately 90% of children are aware of the violence directed at their mother...Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes." A Safe Place: Lake County Crisis Center http://www.asafeplaceforhelp.org/childrenstatistics.html I agree with your post and want to add that divorce does have a different context when dealing with abuse and/or domestic violence. In a domestic violence situation, often the abuse will escalate when the victim tries to leave OR the abuser will retaliate, or seek leverage against the victim in some way. SAFETY is a number one priority, especially when children are involved. My advise in fleeing domestic violence is to get help from a shelter or domestic abuse agency ASAP. They will help make a safety plan, and find resources including emergency shelter and legal assistance. Cut off all contact with the abuser–don’t try to negotiate on your own. You may also have to avoid friends or family members that the abuser has access to, as they may become targets or be manipulated into assisting the abuser. Don’t worry about what you lost or what you left behind–just be safe!

God Bless- Lynn
(shadowwings.wordpress.com)

National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://www.ndvh.org/
Abuse is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. Battering is a behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a partner from doing what they wish or forces them to behave in ways they do not want.
Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

“Studies show that nearly 70 percent of women on welfare are victims of domestic violence. It is estimated that over 50 percent of women and children who become homeless are victims of domestic violence.” — Help USA (New York). http://www.helpusa.org/site/PageServer?pagename=HELP_ProgServ_DomesticViolence

Fathers who batter mothers are two times as likely to seek sole custody of their children. 40 to 60 percent of men who abuse women also abuse children.
Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence in the Family
(Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women): http://www.mcbw.org/dvfacts.htm

“Approximately 90% of children are aware of the violence directed at their mother…Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes.” A Safe Place: Lake County Crisis Center
http://www.asafeplaceforhelp.org/childrenstatistics.html

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